Reunited

I realize I haven't blogged since last November as you can observe from my last post. Not that I haven't wanted to do so-it's just that so much has happened since I last blogged on our family page. There have been many developments in my life since then. Coincidentally, about a year ago this month. So I thought I'd share them with you now.

Last April, I received an unanticipated message through Facebook. To my astonishment it was from my birth father whom I had never met, seen, much less remember since I was seven years old. He had found me after 29 years of not knowing anything about him. I was bewildered to say the least after many years of absenteeism. However, I couldn't help my curiosity to find out if, in fact, it was my father. After promptly replying to his request and confirming the add he and I established an amiable relationship and communication throughout the next five months (even though it was another world away in my native country of Honduras). Precisely ten days after my Thanksgiving post, I received yet another message that devastated me. This time it was to inform me of his incurable lung cancer. I was told he had a little over a month to live and that he didn't want to worry me by telling me of his condition (this explained the reason why I hadn't heard from him during those three months). Oddly enough, his last post was on August 20th (my 36th birthday). I think (now) that it was his way of saying "goodbye" to me before departing this life. At that moment the only thing that crossed my mind was that I wanted to be there for him in the "blink of an eye". But it was easier said than done. You see, since I came to the United States in 1981, I had never returned or traveled out of the country ANYWHERE. As many emotions surged throughout, my question was: "How was I going to travel to Honduras and defy TIME at the same time? It was literally, borrowed time. After sorting out the details of what was to be my trip to meet him and bid him farewell at the same time, I had another pending matter to take care of here, at home, with my family. I had NEVER been apart from my three children nor husband-ever-especially for the length of time I was going to be gone for. It was an extremely difficult time for them since it was so close to the Christmas holidays and the fact that I would miss Christmas and New Years altogether broke my heart even more. I was torn. It was just as painful for me as it was for them.  I spoke frankly to them (as much as three young children could understand) and to my amazement, my kids understood the situation and were 100% behind me, supporting every decision I made along the way. I must admit I underestimated them and tend to forget that they are no longer babies. To this day, I will NEVER forget how compassionate and positive their attitudes were towards the entire time this was going on. But I had faith that God would sort all of these things out for me if this was meant to happen for me. Granted, I had some setbacks here and there along the way, but God prevailed in the end. With the unconditional support of my wonderful, loving husband, his parents, and some close friends I was on my way to my place of birth of Tegucigalpa after an entire life away from it not knowing exactly how bittersweet my trip would actually be upon my return.

My time in Honduras with my father was QUALITY time well spent. I will never forget the time I spent with him-caring for him and just sitting by his side tending to his every need or request. I am forever grateful to God for allowing me that opportunity as I know he had already planned this for me before I even knew it. Those moments we shared together will eternally be engraved in my heart and my memory. My faith in God has grown even more after this wonderful encounter. I just pray he will continue to give me strength and fortitude for the next chapter in my life.

Rafael Castro Avila

December 20, 2010